Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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