So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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