And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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