I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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