I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
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i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
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Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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