Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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