I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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