yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize