wakey wakey hands off snakey
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize