I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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