He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize