I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
the raccoons are back...
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