hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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