I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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