That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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