i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
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That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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