so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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