so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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