I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize