dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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