one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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