I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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