dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize