Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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