It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
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I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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