You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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