Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
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And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
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It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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