Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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