I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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