Soap is not a condiment
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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