i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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