just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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