Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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