We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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