problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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