There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
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