im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize