I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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