I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize