also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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