he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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