Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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