mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
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I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
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I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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