Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
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You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
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you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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