I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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