In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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