I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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