i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize