i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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