Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
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pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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